The MMA Mental Hall of Fame: Dan Quinn
Filed Under (MMA) by admin on 27-03-2009
Tagged Under : Dan Quinn, MMA Mental Hall of Fame
Dan Quinn, Dan Quinn, Dan Quinn. Oh, where to begin…
One could begin with postings on theoretical physics forums that he has completed the work that was only half-done by Albert Einstein and, armed with only his blender and a food sweetener, achieved cold fission in his kitchen. Don’t take my word for it. Dan Quinn will happily film this “chemical process” with his cell phone and put it on YouTube for you.
Yes indeed, if you put Stevia and water in a blender and hit “puree” you will witness cold fission. No, that is not water frothing because it is being run through a blender with a dissolving powder. It is cold fission, dammit. He has split the atom in his kitchen and you are all a bunch of idiots if you can’t see the Nobel Prize-worthy scientific breakthrough.
Or we could go directly to his YouTube calling out of Kimbo Slice, where Dan Quinn for some reason finds a college football play he was involved in during the late 17th century relevant to his abilities in the ring today.
Of course, in addition to being an over-the-counter atom splitter, Quinn also advocates that the sugar replacement Stevia is the chalice of everlasting life. As a result, he stands in the mirror with his shirt off, looking a little bit older than his forty-something years but claiming that his fountain of youth has him looking fitter than a man much younger than his actual age.
To his credit, Mr. Quinn does hold a .500 record in mixed martial arts (4-4-1) but his last fight was in 2005 and as overhyped as Kimbo may have been, it would be pretty hard to imagine Kimbo risking his reputation by taking on a grandfatherly opponent with a record inferior to that of James Thompson (and against far less noteworthy competition, though Quinn did manage once to last almost three minutes with Frank Mir).
One thing is for sure. For as long as he is alive, Dan Quinn will make himself the unofficial spokesman for Stevia as both a nuclear power generator and an age-defier. Another thing we can count on is that as long as Dan Quinn has a camera with video capabilities, we will have free entertainment.